"Sharing, it's what good friends do..."

... whatever I have, you can have some, too."

Anyone remember that song? A Sesame Street classic ... or maybe it was exclusive to the repertoire of my talking Big Bird...

I've been thinking a lot about sharing lately, because it is really a very loaded concept, and not an easy one for 2-, 3-, and 4-year-olds to grasp. I find it most difficult, however, to be the one who is trying to explain and teach sharing to these little ones.

At it's very core, sharing implies loss. That's what my students remind me of every day. When someone tells them "You need to share", what they hear is "You can't have that to yourself, you need to give it up." That is loss. So, now, you're the teacher: How do you teach that loss can be a "good" and rewarding thing? How do you explain that there are times when we submit ourselves to the experience of loss willingly, because that loss actually becomes an experience of gain, in another form than the original loss? That is some very twisted logic, when you get right down to it.

I am trying to start from the beginning: "You know, I can tell you're really enjoying playing with all those Legos, Francis, and I can see why! Remember, though, we're at school, and all the toys here are for all the children to play with. That's why we get to practice sharing a lot at school, so that everyone gets a chance to play with the toys they want..."

[Finders may be keepers, but the point of play and of a playful community such as the classroom can be is the connection we find and experience with others. Yet, though I would never call young children 'selfish', they do need to understand others primarily through themselves.]

"So, let's think, Francis: There are two ways I think would make for some pretty good sharing right now. We can share the material we have - like Legos - or we can share the time we have the material. What do you think? Can you share your Legos with your friends so you can all play at the same time? Or would you rather keep all the Legos for yourself now and then give them all to someone else when I come back in five minutes?..."

[This is the new piece of my thinking: I don't think it's a horrible thing to want something entirely for oneself for an amount of time. There are things we cannot divide up like Legos, so we divide up the time we have with them. Maybe this is an easier way to share for some children?]

Francis decided to share the Legos with the other children at the table. I have to admit, I was relieved. Perhaps I had come up with an alternative way of sharing, but I had not quite thought completely through how I was then going to teach the concept of time ... that will have to come up in another post soon ...